she's ALIVE!

(joels at the 4-H fair, july 2007)

hello friends. i can't believe i haven't posted in ALMOST a full year. holy hell. well, i got it in just in the nick...only one day shy!

last week (july 25) we visited the rock county 4-H fair here in janesville. we had a really fun time! we went with our neighbor jan, jan's sister-in-law tara, and tara's sons mason and carter. the boys had been there before but we hadn't. evidently joels had a fun day, because when my parents came to visit the next day (to watch her when tim and i went to chicago to catch a tigers game with cousins josh and laura), they went to the fair again! she loved the bunnies and pigs, while i liked the goats, baby cows and the sheep. i have even actually decided to cut down on my red meat intake and to give up lamb completely. (not that i was eating a ton of it to begin with! but i have had it and it's pretty good!) i am concentrating on fish and sometimes chicken. (i have to start small! i love chicken!) we'll see how it goes. tim is freaking out...meat is his main (only?) food group.

where'd july go?

yeah, so blog slacker am i. in my defense, though, i am SO not used to this! and i went on vacation over the 4th. ok, ok, slacker.

last night i had a panic attack. it's strange because for a long time they came pretty much every day (i should say every night actually), but now they are much more sporatic. so much so that at many times i have thought that maybe they were gone...leaving as quickly as they came. but then i usually have one that very night. gee, thanks.

anyways, last night's was weird. i woke up out of a dead sleep at 3:30 am with a stomachache. then i couldn't get back to sleep. then my mind was wandering all over the place. then i got a sinus headache/faceache. THEN came the panic. i would start to fall asleep and then gasp for air and feel like i was floating. at this point in an attack i feel like...no, i am CONVINCED (at the time) that i am dying. as in, i want to run into joely's room to say my goodbyes. very scary. but then i took 4 advils and finally fell back asleep, and felt fine this morning. well, as fine as i could with the alarm blaring to get me up out of my comfy bed and promising me a hot, sticky, boring-as-hell day at work. and i was right...hot, sticky, and boring. i LOVE being right. (ask tim.)

so, on with the day...only 29 more days until the event of the decade...my friend bree's 30 birthday party in arizona over labor day weekend. NINE of us are going out to see her...some from college (like me), and some from her hometown. anyways, it should be a freakin' riot! we are so excited! i've never been out there to visit her, AND i haven't gone on a trip like this since before joely was born...actually even before that. there are 4 of us that have little babies we're leaving behind, so it'll be, at some points, a cry-fest. i plan on helping myself, and my panic, by being extremely drunk on the flight out there. (surprise, surprise...i'm not a good flyer.)

the month of august is insanity! i have many things going on in addition to my AZ trip. i have many friends whose birthdays are this month (carey, amber, andy, colleen, matt, bree of course, and my dad), my 3-year anniversary, 2 weddings, AND last but not least...my birthday! unlike old-bree (lol) i'm to be 29. i am making a list of things i want to accomplish before i'm 30...but i'd better hurry since i have less than a week!

ok, this should be enough for the next few days. i won't leave everyone hanging so long till the next post...i prom. (i hope people are actually reading!)

extreme close-up...

i just have time to leave one adorable joely picture.
(it's an oldie but a goody!)
happy weekend!

101 things to know about me

at a loss for what to write about ("house" was good tonight...i have a tummy ache from eating dinner and then immediately power-walking to my sister's house...don't let me forget to stop writing at 11 for "daily show"...see what i mean about at a loss?), i have decided to rip off an idea from a fellow blogger/fellow alma alum maya and hit ya with 101 things to know about me. here ya go...

1. i was born at 6:51 pm.
2. on a monday.
3. my first crush was luke duke from "the dukes of hazzard".
4. skipping forward...my favorite college prof was rhonda deussen...art history. i had her 3 times.
5. i enjoy fine-pointed pens.
6. this will get more interesting, i hope.
7. i ate pizza hut the night before i went into labor with my daughter. i was just reminded because i had the "dippin' strips" and i noticed the other day that they're back!
8. is my lucky number.
9. i wish i could sing, so i could jump onstage at a left hand daisy show and belt one out.
10. in said wish, i would sing, "the only one". i know, i know.
11. my favorite job was at c&d berries, a strawberry "patch". i would sit under the tent and sell the already-picked berries as well as direct the u-pickers where to go and then weigh their berries when they returned. i mostly wrote in my journal. it was summer after junior year of high school and it was the easiest and greatest job ever. the owners had a dog named peaches.
12. my favorite color is green...but it has to be grass green. no neon or forest.
13. since i threw a tie-dye baby clothes baby shower last week, i have been non-stop thinking about dying things.
14. so if you're white and cotton, look out.
15. i have 7 real cousins and a bazillion cousins-in-law.
16. i am color blind, which i got from my dad.
17. i have anxiety disorder, which i also got from my dad.
18. i have read helter skelter probably 20 times...yes, i got that from dad, too.
19. same thing with the godfather. book and movie.
20. speaking of the godfather, i love tom hagen. (hagan?) robert duvall's character, anyway.
21. i love garage sales.
22. they are one of the many things i love about summertime.
23. but i have found saleing with joely is tiresome.
24. i know the order of cases i'd choose (and why) if ever i was a contestant on "deal or no deal".
25. i love family circle magazine and i don't care if you make fun of me.
26. i think it's hilarious when people get arrested and then make a giant poster of their mugshot and hang it in their house.
27. i once read a book with celebrities and their mugshots, and some have them decorating their walls.
28. i would totally do that...but only if it was a cool arrest, like protesting or something.
29. i once wrote a paper for a philosophy class on civil disobedience. i got an A. it really was a great paper...i was very proud of it.
30. as a philosophy major, i had to write a shitload of papers.
31. i would love to play tennis.
32. maybe someday i'll take lessons.
33. i wish i could be more like people who do and not just say "someday..."
34. i worry sometimes about the kind of world joely will grow up in.
35. my biggest life goal is that she will be her own person and have a good head on her shoulders, where even if shitty things happen to her, she'll be able to handle it and learn from it.
36. i drive a saturn wagon.
37. i had it even before i was a mom...or a wife for that matter.
38. i bought it when i lived in denver for (what turned out to be only) a summer.
39. i picked it out (the model and color, which was/is dark red) because a friend had a dark red subaru wagon and i loved it...but i wanted a saturn.
40. don't tell my dad, but i never test-drove it.
41. the first time i drove my car was when i drove it home.
42. AND i drove it home with the parking brake on.
43. yeah, i can be a little dumb.
44. but i still have it...119,000 miles later.
45. i once put a keg in the back and went to an alma soccer game. good times.
46. i LOOOOVED alma soccer games, even before (and after) i was dating a team member.
47. one of the greatest days was when alma defeated hope to win the conference championship.
48. was my server number at outback for 5 years.
49. i wonder if i'll remember that forever. (?)
50. my mom turns 50 this july! :)
51. i was one of the editors-in-chief of my high school yearbook.
52. honestly, i didn't really know what i was doing, but i had fun.
53. one of the funniest things ever is to go back and read old journals i wrote back in high school.
54. i was totally boy-crazy.
55. i have a cat and lately he's been extremely annoying.
56. he is named after a character from "family guy".
57. stewie is his name.
58. his name was almost pigpen.
59. lately i've been thinking about changing his name back to pigpen...because he is one.
60. i love my "sliding doors" soundtrack.
61. it is how i learned that i love olive and brand new heavies.
62. tim and i are taking joely camping for the first time in a few weeks.
63. i am hoping she likes it.
64. she loves all things outdoors so i think we're ok.
65. i think i have TMJ. i grind my teeth.
66. i have a friend whose initials are TMJ...thomas michael jewett!( aka, rookie and howie feltersnatch. oh, and ida feltersnatch.)
67. i once showed his father what color underwear i had on. (don't ask.) (it's not as sordid as it sounds, but still, don't ask.)
68. i wear breathe-right strips to bed.
69. i feel like a football player.
70. i love the red wings.
71. even now.
72. i bawled my eyes out when they won the cup in '97. i was so proud of stevie y.
73. i get very emotional about sports...i sometimes cry.
74. i don't really know why...i never played any sports growing up.
75. just the other day i told tim that i didn't know how to play catch, which isn't exactly true. i just never really spent a lot of time catching with a mitt, primarily because i am pretty much useless with my left hand, so i always wanted to catch with my right hand, but then i wouldn't be able to throw with my right hand...so alas i didn't spend too much time doing it. leave it to me to try it once, realize it's hard, give up and go inside to watch tv.
76. i still have my favorite blanket from when i was a baby.
77. i made the ultimate sacrifice and am letting joely use it when she wants to.
78. she has 2 other favorite blankets, though--one is green chenille she received from my grandma before she was born, and the other is a pink leopard-print super-soft one she got from krista for her birthday.
79. their names are "green blanket" and "pink blanket".
80. i have an insanely good idea for a halloween costume...stephen king's "carrie"...but i can't figure out how to get it to look like blood just got dumped over me, but have it not be sticky, drippy, and gross. (any ideas, let me know.)
81. i adore the "i love the 80s" shows on vh1.
82. i also cannot wait till "nip/tuck" comes back for season 4.
83. i especially love "nip/tuck" because this is how i started watching it: i watched all the dvds of season 1 in the days waiting for joely to be born...so i feel i have a special connection with the show somehow.
84. i. was. a. cheerleader. (in. high. school.)
85. i say it like that because it was so ridiculous. not that the "sport" is ridiculous, but that i would be expected to be all peppy and chipper. hahaha.
86. my coach hated my guts too.
87. i'm not just saying that...she really truly from-the-bottom-of-her-heart did.
88. i am going to phoenix in august for my girlfriend bree's 30th birthday! (sorry to out your oldness, breeleelee! love ya!) anyways, i've never been there so i'm way excited.
89. it will be a blasty.
90. i enjoy quoting dane cook as much as possible. (and you can quote me on the quote-unquote.)
91. i actually love quotes of all kinds. here's one i found yesterday on someone's blog...sorry i can't remember whose!...
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is Youer than You."
--Dr. Seuss
92. that is another thing i want my daughter to always remember. maybe i'll stitch it onto something.
93. speaking of which, i am a crafty gal...though i don't do it as much as i'd like to.
94. i like making cards...but i don't do anything too difficult.
95. i also like reading, though i don't have time to do a ton of it. but i just got 3 new books and my goal is to have them all read by the end of the summer. (before baby/husband/job, i could have them all done by the end of next week. i was one of those people who sat up VERY late to read. i miss those days...no responsibilities...enjoy it while it lasts, kids!!)
96. i am a horrific flyer. until you give me my xanax washed down with vodka tonics.
97. my favorite band is the beatles.
98. my favorite beatle is george harrison.
99. i love the beginning of "day tripper".
100. i also want to add "the beatles" biography to my summer reading list.
and 101. it is time for bed, for my breathe-right strip, for teeth-grinding...hope you enjoyed my list! i enjoyed making it...perhaps i'll make it a regular entry in this blog. have a great night!

i see many bandaids in her future...

the first of many treks down the hill to the lake...

thursday night TV

did anyone see the premiere of "windfall" on NBC last night? i must admit the only reason i ended up watching it was because i was watching the "my name is earl" marathon, and by ten i was rocking a sleeping toddler and the remote was across the room. and so began my love affair with "windfall".

ok, so perhaps it's a little early to call it a love affair. but i did like it. i have to say that i cannot whole-heartedly get behind the notion that winning the lottery would wreck my life...but i'm afraid that's what this show will try to teach me. (it's only a matter of time before someone on the show will say, "i just wish we had never won the 30 million dollars!") i can't grasp that mindset right now...especially this very second, as i am at work. (though it can't be too bad if i have time to discuss TV shows on my blog!) but i do think it's a neat idea for a show, and seeing the return of luke perry is worth it in and of itself i think. i have been in love with him since his dylan mckay days on "90210". one question, though...lady, why are you cheating on luke perry? luke perry???

i just read that the pilot will be on again tonight at 9 pm...you should watch it! and stay for the scenes from the next episode...it looks crazy-good!

joely's first swim of the year

here are some recent pictures of joely swimming at ggma and ggpa's house! i think she was really tired because she was very serious and hardly smiled the whole time! (i just looked through tons of pictures and not one had a smile at all!) but she does love swimming and we're looking forward to having more time in horseshoe lake this summer! (ps, that's a rubber alligator toy, not an actual lizard-type creature!) (not the one in the stripes...that's joely!) here's a sentence that doesn't end in an exclamation point. (jeesh, i was beginning to sound like a cheerleader.)

a blog-virgin no more!

hello to everyone!
i'm a little apprehensive about being so new to this "scene". will anyone read this, or care? i suppose that answer will come in time. in the meantime, i guess if you don't like it, go somewhere else, right?
i've created this blog for several reasons, and here are some, in no particular order...

to post ridiculously adorable pictures and stories about my family, especially my daughter joely...for family and friends near and far to know what the heck we're up to...for a space for fellow panic and anxiety sufferers to read my thoughts and hopefully somehow gain peace from them (or at least an, "i'm not the only one who feels this way!")...i suppose to ramble on and on about whatever strikes my fancy


...i'm sure i'll come up with more reasons as we go...

i'll have you know i am obsessed with the dot-dot-dot... (i even say it out loud in conversations)

i will post this puppy and get other things going on this page. welcome!